I’ve been trying to write this post for what feels like forever.
Days, weeks, months. It’s amazing how time flies when you’re constantly kidding yourself. This post has sat in my drafts for far too long, but the truth is I didn’t and still don’t want to post it.
As soon as I hit the publish button, it all becomes more real. Everything I’ve been going through these past few months that I’ve been running away from is there on screen and there is no where to hide from it. When your life is being dominated by something very nasty you don’t have much else to talk about, so I just didn’t talk about it at all. By ignoring it for months, I tried to trick myself that none of this is really happening. But that doesn’t make for a very good blog, does it?
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t talk about my health much if at all on this blog, but I’ve come to accept the fact that I need to find some kind of middle ground, otherwise not only will nothing ever get done but my head would probably explode too. Now that things are slowly but surely settling here, I have to be brave and get back in to the swing of things.
Rather than an extremely long post describing everything that has been going on I’m going to keep it short and sweet. Maybe I’ll come back to some of it at a later time.
Stress has taken over and been the trigger this year. My MS, after being stable for a couple of years is active again.
My symptoms have been putting me through hell and the new ones scaring the shit out of me. It’s been very hard to keep my head up when I’ve been getting too used to hospital walls. Luckily I have had my rock keeping me up (literally) and my neurologist has been so supportive. We have several action plans ready and I’m generally feeling positive (for something that’s pulled the rug from under my feet) for the reassurance.
The past 3-ish weeks I have been feeling a lot better and my symptoms have been a lot more tolerable. I keep telling myself ‘That’s it now, just a blip’ and that things are now on the up. Now I have to fight back once again and get back the months that it took from me.